This network belongs to God. I am just a typist and a panic mechanic. I seek testimonies and I upload them but it doesn’t work for me. It’s a vision I had but I can just as well keep it to myself and practice it myself and preach about it. I don’t have to create a network. It’s becoming increasingly clear that I am not good at this . My life is too pock marked with responsibilities and family and friends who are side tracked and not willing to help me. No one can continue doing something year in year out and believe that it’ll succeed without people just shutting up and following my lead. I can lead a whole lot better if I don’t try and do it all. All I need to do is boost my own faith. My own life and my own relationship with God. If people don’t want to inspire each other to victory I can just encourage myself. I don’t need many followers to follow. Of all the ‘ users ‘ I have on this page , I don’t even know who are real and who aren’t. I am just wasting my time. I can’t do this anymore. I get no comments , no feed back. No one wants to help me , so I guess I’ll just help myself. Repent myself , seek out testimonies for myself and become the lighthouse I wanted to create for everyone to participate in myself. It’s ok.. people don’t want to be coached. This entire network is just a way to coach people to become coaches of people through sharing their vulnerable testimonies.
Since my mom died , who was one of the reason’s I created this network , I have nothing to celebrate. Nothing I do that makes any sense to do or continue doing. I am tired of creating content or finding content for people to come and suck up for free. No one of you contribute or seek to contribute to the continuation of this server running. It costs me about 16 dollars a month to run these servers. I don’t get one red cent to help with the effort. I feel as if I feed a bunch of God fish to come and enjoy food for free.
Jesus is free , but I am not for free. I require incentives to create the common victory we should all share in Christ. I can’t continue to live a dream no one believes in but me. It should be our dream to come to the unity of the faith . Not my own single focussed hard work. I give up… one fine day you’re all going to come here to find content as you’ve always done and you’re going to find nothing.