This morning I woke up in a very lonely place. Someone told someone close to me something and now I am in the dog box. I don’t know why , but these things happen. I feel cut off , shut out and very lonely. It’s not my fault or perhaps it is but I can’t figure out what I may have said. I have an idea about who gossiped but I can’t be sure.
Now I have a choice. I can search for the culprit and spend allot of energy doing it or I can find it in my heart to forgive. Finding it in my heart to forgive is the critical part. But I am supposed to have a new heart , a heart of flesh. I have to find it in my heart to forgive because I am forgiven. I have to concentrate on the I am forgiven part. It is something you receive from Jesus. I cannot look at it any other way. If I try to forgive in order to receive the forgiveness of Jesus I am setting myself up to fail. Because with my old heart I can not forgive divinely. And it boils down to a work. From then on I can say , ‘ I am so great, this situation worked out because I forgave ‘ . So where does God then get the glory ? The only logical thing to do is to accept His forgiveness till you realize that you have enough love with which to forgive. I am a new creation. I have to accept this fact and focus on it. Trust it . And then I’ll relent from looking for the culprit.
Anyway, I am a little disappointed in people. It’s almost as if when I started creating this site all the demons of hell were let lose to torment me. Everyone close to me turned on me. I was called names by my neighbors. My friends deserted me. My ex called me psycho. My pastor laughed at me. It makes me conscious of the fact that the world is full of unrighteousness. I’ll just have to be the righteous one . Prepare the cross. We all have a cross. And the unrighteous one’s also have one . They just don’t know it yet. We are like lambs led to the slaughter.
I pray we’ll see one day that if we all embrace the cross we will all be like lambs to each other. And if we all understand the Gospel we’ll finally act as ambassadors of His Grace instead of our own religious egotistical self efforts.
Have a hum dinger of a day !
Bless you
You are and always will be in my thoughts and prayers my dearest brother. Don’t let others, anyone get you down. Yes, all we can do is pray and have hope. Your an awesome writer Nick! Very good hearted and full of love. I love and miss you heaps always. Take care dearest brother ♡♡♡
Your sister always ♡x♡x♡
At least I know the comments work now …hehehe